I woke full of lack, of the tangible feeling of missing everything and everyone familiar to me. A continent and an ocean sometimes seem impenetrable. And there is silence.
But moments of beauty too. Seeing the seagulls fly in lazy circles above me as I walk out in the cold to the glorious sound of Gregorian chants filling my ears through my headphones. The warmth of friendship and good conversations in multiple languages.
Everything is mixed, and I can’t sort out my feelings. I want to be better adjusted here, and I want to be with the people I miss. There is an intense longing for “home” that has left me uncertain, since I don’t know if home is what I am trying to create here or what I left behind.